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'Machiavelli' at your service

September 17 2006

Simon Jordan

Simon Jordan

Jamesey looks back in disbelief at the reaction to his spoof phone transcript.

After our win against Norwich at Carrow Road on Saturday (Sept 16), I feel rather more cheerful, but after the lamentable performance against the Saints at Selhurst last week, in common with many, many Eagles supporters, I was highly disgruntled.

Instead of personally expressing my ire, I decided to write a column from the viewpoint of our chairman. Simon Jordan is an outspoken man and there was plenty of comic material to utilise from past scenarios - Iain Dowie, Trevor Francis, and more.

I felt the column, "Simon and Peter", was affectionate and reflected the personality of Simon Jordan, his likely reaction to the Southampton disaster and, possibly. Peter Taylor's answers.

Later in the week, I was flabbergasted to see that The Times, a once great newspaper of record, had published a story, "Row triggers Jordan's manure detector".

The article talked about an email distribution of a transcript and states that, amongst other things, Mr Jordan called the email "part of a Machiavellian plot by my enemies to try and cause unrest and destabilise the club".

Had the reporter working for this formerly respected journal bothered to check any of the facts, he would have found that the "transcript" was a satirical opinion piece on an unofficial CPFC supporters website.

But if he did, the webmaster, editor and myself were unaware of it.

Later I heard that the story had been picked up by BBC Radio Five Live as well, although I didn't hear it myself.

What next?

News at 10....Blair resigns...Israel invades Iran....Jameseygate phone shock.

Fortunately that didn't happen.

He who lives by the sword dies by it and I take the p!ss out of many Palace figures, so I can take stick too.

But for Mr Jordan to call people who are 22-carat Palace fans Machiavellian plotters against him is so ludicrous that you just have to laugh and wonder whether he was taking the p!ss out of The Times or some minion in the PR area was doing the talking.

All of us who run and contribute to this site spend our cash on home and away tickets and travel costs, like everyone else, and we spend a great deal of our time, for no financial reward, producing articles, statistics, information and message board policing for HOL members.

Machiavellian plotters and enemies of the club? A larf you must be having!

With a couple of exceptions, 99% of the reactions to the column, both on the message boards and by personal emails, were favourable. Very favourable. In fact, it made them laugh a lot - and what more can a satirical writer ask?

What a sad and bleak day it would be if Palace supporters couldn't have a chuckle at themselves and the club they love.


Email Jamesey with your comments to Jevans3704@aol.com

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