June 28 2001

The fans

Don't be lost for words on the Holmesdale when you have all the words to the songs here!

Just One Lombardo

To the tune of 'Just one Cornetto'

Just one Lombardo

Give him to me

He's from Juventus

In Italy

He's got no hair

But we don't care

We've got Lombardo

From Italy!

Lombardo! Lombardo! Lombardo!

Ian Wright is Illegitimate

Ian Wright is illegitimate

He aint got no birth certificate

He's got AIDS and can't get rid of it

He's an Arsenal bastard

Judas, Judas, Judas!

Terry Venables walks on water

Everybody knows that dog(bull) shit floats

"When I was a little boy I asked my mother what I should be,

Should I be Palace, Charlton or Millwall?

Here's what she said to me,

Wash your mouth out son,

Get your father's gun,

Shoot all the Millwall scum,

Because Palace are number one."

A vintage one from the original Holmesdale mosh pit:

Bertie Mee said to Bill Shankly

'Have you heard of the North bank Highbury?'

Shanks said 'No, I don't think so'

But I've heard of the Palace, boot boys'.

('Palace aggro' is the obvious rhyme instead of 'Palace boot boys', but I think that was deliberate - anyway, no one was prepared to argue).

From Double Glazier

He's here, he's there, he's every fcuking where, VINCE HILAIRE, VINCE HILAIRE.

There's a brown boy on the wing, tra laa laa laa, there's a brown boy on the wing traaaaa laaaaaa laaaaaa laaaaa, there's a brown boy on the wing, tra laa laa laa, and he goes by the name of Vince Hilaire.

Tip toe down the Holmesdale with your boots on, get your head kicked in, come tip toe down the Holmesdale with me.

Anti Steve Bruce

To the tune of Nellie the Elephant.

Brucie the Elephant packed his cash

and said goodbye to the Palace

off he went like a greedy fat lump

c*nt, c*nt, c*nt

Brucie the Elephant packed his cash

and trumbled off to the porn shop

off he went to the Birmingham dump

c*nt c*nt c*nt

To the tune of She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain.

Oh I'd rather be Bin Laden than Steve Bruce

Oh I'd rather be Bin Laden than Steve Bruce

Rather be Bin Laden, rather be Bin Laden

Oh I'd rather be Bin Laden than Steve Bruce

Sung in the Quality Street advert tune

Thank you very much for the half a million, Thank you very much thank you very very very much!!!

(Sent in by Dave Bisland)

To the tune of Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd

All in all you're just a bunch of pricks from Millwall!

(Sent in by Palacemad2002)

F*** em all, f*** em all,

Chelsea, Brighton and Millwall,

Coz we are the PALACE,

And we are the best,

We are the PALACE,

So f*** all the rest!

(Sent in by Geoff Thomas)

To the tune of Annie's song by John Denver

"You fill up my senses

Like a gallon of Fosters

Like a packet of Bensons

Like a line of cocaine

A days racing at Lingfield

A night out at Sinatras

For you are my Palace

Come fill me again"

(Sent in by REDNBLUEARMY69)

If you know any more songs, send them to editor@holmesdale.net or write them in the box below and we'll add them