I'm gutted we didn't get Wilshere because I had all the lyrics to "Jack Wilshere brings all the boys to the yard" sorted.

To Andy Johnson's "Magic Hat"

Oh Flamini's a French tart
He's got no f*ckin' beard
But if he ever grew one
He'd just look bloody weird
We don't think it would suit him
He's not like Joe Ledley
There's only one man with a beard
And that's the great Jedi!

Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.